God Sees The Entire Garden

“For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth

to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.”

2 Chronicles 16:9a NIV

During the winter months I feel trapped inside the house and I long for spring when I will once again enjoy the work, beauty and joy of my gardens. It is during these months that I thumb through gardening books and seed catalogs dreaming of what this coming year’s garden will look like.

I can’t wait for my tulip tree to blossom and the weeping willow to start unfolding its leaves of delicate pale green. I watch in anticipation for the heads of yellow daffodils that will emerge in irregular patches throughout the wooded area in the back of our property.

In my mind I envision the entire garden in its state of completion. Inside the heart of this gardener is the hope that next season’s garden will be a vision of beauty. The Master Gardner is not so different in the plans that he has for the garden of my heart. God sees the entire garden of my heart. He sees my life stretched out over the canvas of all my days and he knows every step I will take, every problem I will encounter, and every joy I will experience. He envisions my life finished according to his master plan and he is pleased. The Master Gardener has designed a plan to give me a hope and a future!

So today, God and I will walk together in the garden of my heart. We enter the garden through a gate that is attached to a white arched trellis. The trellis supports gorgeous purple jackmanii clematis. The smell of confederate jasmine is in the air. The Master Gardner brings to my attention many of the perennial plants that have been established, multiplied and are currently thriving in the garden. The Gardner mentions that I have used the red Bee Balm to soothe the hearts of my friends that suffer. He whispers that he knows I use the delicate for-get-me-knots as a reminder for me to spend time with him. He mentions that the Brown-eyed Susan’s also serve as my reminder to keep my eyes open for ways to love others. He smiles as he points out the pink tulips because this reminds him that I am learning to kiss the lives of others with his grace. He says, Paula, I am so proud of you. You have learned many things from setting with me in the garden. I am humbled and embarrassed by his encouragement because I do not feel that I am very good at any of those things.

His tone is loving but serious. Paula, this garden of yours is huge. This year I need you to trust me because I may ask you to go to places in the garden that you have never been before. I begin to tremble at the thought of walking through hanging vines of uncertainty into an area of the garden that I have never been before. He said, “Why are you so afraid? All new places are not bad. In fact some are beautiful, exciting, and fun. I may ask you to walk through the forest of change, but don’t be afraid. The challenge will be rewarding. I may allow you to peer over the edge of a garden wall and see majestic mountains that I will help you climb. You may feast on rainbows of my promises, you will see sunrises of hope and sunsets of my faithfulness. I may ask you to take off your shoes and walk through the lush green grass of the table land where I will allow you to feast on my provision. There will be wonderful times of joy in your life and in the lives of those you love. I may also have a new assignment for you that will develop your character, bless others, and glorify me.”

Now I speak. “God, of course, I’m not afraid of the good experiences but I am a bit fearful of what I do not know that may be waiting for me in the shadows of the garden.” My inner thoughts remind me that my first thoughts are usually fear of all I do not see and understand. I hate change and the uncertainty of the future. I look down and a serpent hisses and slithers off into the grasses. He leaves behind fresh chills of fear. I for one do not want to walk into loneliness, hard times, pain, or suffering. These thoughts threaten to smoother me. I am now on the verge of hyperventilating!

As always, Jesus knows my fears and then he lovingly reminds me that he sees the big picture. “Paula, I promise you that I will not ask you to climb the tallest oak and go out on the weakest limb without standing under you with my everlasting arms. I can be trusted. I will not send you into the darkness of the garden without going with you. Remember I am the Light of the World and in me there is no darkness. You do not know the future but you do know the One who holds the future. Because of this you can be at peace. Life is full of surprises for you, but nothing is a surprise for me. That is why I so carefully walk before you and prepare the way."

“So God, what should I do?” The Gardner places his arm around me and whispers, “Paula, just enjoy your garden. Spend time with me in prayer, read my Word and learn truth. Find my promises in the Word and hide them in your heart. Enjoy every beautiful day you have and keep doing your homework and when that time comes to go somewhere in the garden that you have never been before, I will be with you. I will be with you every day in the good times and the bad. You my daughter will never be alone.” Then the final message of the Gardner came, “If you knew the future you would have no need to trust. Trusting me is just another way I know you love me. I need your love.”

Questions:

Do you believe that there is both joy and sorrow found in the garden?

Do you find strength in knowing that God goes before you preparing the way?

Can you recall a joyous time that you experienced in the garden?

Are you currently experiencing fear in the garden?

What can you do to strengthen your faith?

How does trusting God give you hope for surviving sorrow in the garden?

Prayer:

Dear God,

Our walk in the garden today has been encouraging. Thank you that you have reassured me of what is right in my life. Thank you that you have filled me with joy and excitement as I walk in the garden with you. I am anticipating the many answers to the prayers that I have prayed. I wait, wondering if this will be the year I will see the answer. I know that there will be times that my joy in the journey of life will be ecstasy! I am so grateful for the bountiful provision that will continue to come to me from your hand. I know that all of the surprises and blessings that you have planned for me will thrill my soul! Thank you for all of the positive reassuring words that you spoke to me today. Thank you for the assurance that you will be with me to provide everything I will need to face anything that will challenge my faith. God I praise you for your Word and I ask you to help me do my homework now so that when change comes to my life I will have your Word hidden in my heart so that I might not sin against you. I know that it is your Word that will strengthen and sustain me during the trials of life. It will be your promises that I will need to claim and rely on if I find myself in the darkness of the garden. In the meantime, help me to enjoy the garden everyday as I bask in your Sonshine!

In your Son’s name I pray. Amen.

Loneliness A Place of Blessing

“But Jesus often withdrew

to lonely places and prayed.”

Luke 5:16 NIV

I don’t think anyone has escaped loneliness. Today while walking in the garden I was stunned by the beauty of one simple Gerber Daisy, standing tall, all alone among the depth of the dark greenery of the garden. This daisy was not wilted or broken. This beautiful red orange Gerber stood tall and open so that it could receive sunshine and rain from the hand of the Master Gardener. This lonely flower reminded me of a few times in my past when loneliness engulfed me.

Loneliness is the result of a personal loss of something we value or a separation from someone we love. We can become lonely because we are in a new stage of life, or we fear we will not find someone to share our life. Sometimes people are lonely because they are different from others, insecure, ignored by the majority, or looked over for many ungodly reasons. Others are lonely because they are ill and cannot leave their home.

Each person’s loss or loneliness is not to be measured by another person in terms of great or small. The fact is, every loss is personal and more likely than not, it is a loss that has left the one experiencing the loss with a knot in their stomach, an ache in their heart, and an overwhelming amount of emotional sadness. Loss is very personal and causes us to have thoughts that make us feel alone, afraid, angry, rejected, forgotten, set aside, mistreated, and often the victim. Sometimes we experience loss so great that we do not feel we can bare it without the help of God. Each person’s loss is painful and they alone must grieve in their own way.

Likewise, we should not measure our own loss in terms of great or small. Sometimes we feel guilty that we are even feeling sad and lonely. It doesn’t take much for us to look around and see someone else who has a greater need. Still we need to bring Jesus our loss and not feel guilty. Another time we may feel that the cross we have been given is far greater than anyone else’s and slip into a depressing pity-party. That too is dangerous. Jesus says come to me because I know how you feel, what you need, and how to help you. Trust me. We must remember that nothing is too great or small to bring to Jesus. I doubt that Jesus has a scale to measure our loss but without a doubt he sees our pain. Jesus is compassionate and weeps and grieves with us in our times of loss and loneliness.

God wants us to give our loneliness to him. Our Father’s heart beats in comforting love for us during our time of need. He wants to gather us to his breast and wrap his wings of love around us as he holds us so tightly that we can feel the thump of his heartbeat. Jesus longs to comfort us in our times of loneliness. “…as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings…” Luke 13:34b NIV We must not let our bitterness and fear push God away or shut him out.

I wonder if Jesus sometimes felt alone. I imagine he missed his mother and his family. He was a traveling man on the road constantly. Jesus was single. Did Jesus miss the Father and his previous home in heaven? Even though surrounded by thousands of people, did he still feel alone? Those twelve men that were closest to him were with him most of the time yet even in this circle of close friends I wonder if perhaps he felt alone because at times they didn’t understand what he was teaching, or who he was? Sometimes he lost friends. The rejection of so many people was yet another place of loneliness. So much loneliness, more than any man should bare.

Jesus had a remedy for his loneliness, it was more aloneness. “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16 NIV I wonder if aloneness could be my remedy as well? Perhaps when I am lonely I need to be alone with the Father. After Jesus spent time alone with the Father, he returned to the routine of life. He was still alone, but he had been refreshed, loved and comforted by his Father.

On a positive note our lonely state is often the stage on which God will do some of his best work in our life. When we experience loss, we often experience less responsibility. Our life changes drastically. What was there before has left a huge whole and now Jesus wants to fill that whole with himself. It is the place where we learn to experience God’s love and comfort. Loneliness, a place where we are forced to be alone and it is often the very place we need to be to experience personal spiritual growth. It is the “alone with God” place where our character is being shaped for eternity. When we are going through a time of loneliness, we may discover it is the perfect time to pour out our concerns, our greatest fears, our “what ifs,” and our anger. It is a place where we surrender our will to the will of the Father and when we do our trust is developed and strengthened. When we give God a chance, it is during loneliness that we get a beautiful picture of how faithful our Father really is.

Our demanding lifestyles, the crowds of people that surround us, our work, our family responsibilities, too many church meetings, the couch of the psychiatrist, the mall, the noise of our music, the blare of the television, our hand held electronic devices, and the chair of self pity are all places that can shut Jesus out of our life. But Jesus says come away with me to a lonely place. Leave all of your “stuff” behind. Bring only yourself and your loneliness. Come to me and I will give you rest. If you will come to me, you will find that I will gather you under my wings and you will feel my heart beat in love for you my precious child. Come to me and be comforted. You are NOT alone. Trust me with all that you do not understand or know. Remember, I know things you do not know. I can be trusted. I know what I have planned for you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Simply trust me with the days ahead.

I doubt that we will ever be thankful for the times of sadness in our life. However, I have experienced being thankful for the outcome that followed my loneliness. All things do work together for good. I have experienced that when I have trusted God through my loss and loneliness; God changed me and made me a stronger person. The person I became was changed for the better. In addition, I have often been surprised by the wonderful plan that God orchestrated for my future, even before one day of my life came into existence. So then, if during our loneliness we can spend quality time with our Lord, our loneliness can be a place of renewed strength, grounded faith, elevated trust, and yes, wonderful blessing!

Questions:

Have you ever experienced loneliness?

Did God change you during that time of loneliness? If so, what happened?

Do you believe that God can use loneliness as a time to build you up and bring about positive change in your life?

Have you ever found that your loneliness proved to be a place of blessing?

Have you used that experience to help others?

Prayer:

Dear Jesus,

Today I am feeling so alone. Please take this pain, this loneliness away if it be your will. If it is still not my time to leave the desert of loneliness please comfort me today. Refresh me as only you can. Jesus, I know that you too have experienced loneliness and I want to follow your example of going to a lonely place and seek the Father. Jesus, today I humbly ask you to use this place of loneliness in my life to shape my character so that I will become more and more like you. I thank you Father that you love me so much that you would allow me to go into the desert of loneliness. Father, I want to give my fears to you and trust you to be with me through this time of loneliness. Thank you that you never leave me or forsake me and that you always meet me at the point of my greatest need. I pray that someday I will be able to look back and see this time as a place of blessing.

In your name I pray. Amen

...He Loves Me Not...He Loves Me...He Loves Me Not...He Loves Me!

“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands.”

2 John 1:6 NIV

This morning I am learning an amazing truth as I sit before the Master Gardner in the garden of my heart. I am looking at a patch of beautiful daisies and remembering my childhood game of plucking off the petals one at a time and saying, “he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not,” as I tried to determine if the cute boy I liked, liked me.

There are days that I question God’s love for me because I am hurting. Some days I feel overwhelmed by life and because I can’t seem to be able to get ahead, life seems hopeless and void of God’s love. Other days when I feel sad and I find myself lost in loneliness I wonder where God is. I question why death and personal loss hurt so much. On those days I find myself playing my childhood game as I ask God, “do you love me or do you love me not?” Some days I wonder if God still loves me because I have failed him. There have been times that I haven’t loved myself very much and when I am in that mindset I really struggle with the question, why should God love me because I’m not really worthy of his love. So today I look up into the clouds and remember that as a believer, I am a precious child of God and he does love me. I also know that God especially loves those who love him in return. As I continue to meditate on the truth of God’s love for me, a light goes on in my brain and I find myself on the brink of discovering why I may be experiencing times of insecurity regarding God’s love for me.

I am beginning to realize that accepting Jesus Christ as my personal Savior is exactly that and no more. Basically, when I accepted Jesus, I simply reached out to God in simple faith and accepted God’s free gift of salvation. This gift was made possible by the loving obedience of his Son, Jesus Christ, who was obedient even unto death, even the death on the cross. Yes, God’s unconditional and lavish love for me and all mankind is second to none. I am beginning to comprehend that it is not a matter of God loving me, but rather a matter of me loving God. How well do I return my love to God? That is the question tugging at my heartstrings today.

What does loving God look like? It looks like obedience. “And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands.” 2 John 1:6 NIV The Bible is pretty clear that if I love God, I will obey him. If I don’t obey God I must view him as a casual acquaintance rather than being someone with whom I have a loving relationship. God is not satisfied with merely dating humanity, he wants a loving bride!

I think that when I fail to be obedient to God it is because I try to obey him for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes I obey God because I need to stay on good terms with him in case I need something. Sometimes I obey because I am afraid to disobey. Other times I obey because it makes me look good. That kind of selfish obedience is not based on love! Pure obedience is impossible unless it is fueled by love. As in any relationship, where there is pure love, obedience flows freely! I may not always do this perfectly. I’m pretty sure I won’t, but God loves it when I do! My obedience puts a smile on the face of God and he may even do the dance of joy! He shouts from the throne room in heaven, “She loves me! She loves me! She loves me!”

Obedience is my gift of love to God. He wants my obedience in my thought life, my words, my actions, my attitudes, my deeds, my giving, my work, and through loving others. “This is my command: Love each other.” John 15:17 NIV

It is our sinful nature to disobey God. We can blame Adam and Eve all we want to but even if they had not eaten the fruit, somewhere down the road some other couple would have. It could have been Sarah and Abraham, or Rebekah and Isaac, or Ruth and Billy Graham, or Paula and Joe, or You and _________. I am convinced that all of us, from the beginning of time up until this very moment, are more than capable of succumbing to the temptation of believing the deadly lie of Satan that whispered, “Eat this fruit and you can be like God.”

Because God is all knowing, God knew that weak, frail humans would take Satan’s bait. God knew that the beautiful apple would look so appealing that it would be impossible for us to resist. God knew that mankind would fail. Adam and Eve would eat and as they tasted the apple the juices would be deliciously sweet and delectable. But at the very moment they swallowed the flesh of the apple sourness would overcome them carrying with it a fatal, lethal poison. That poison was sin! At that moment in time all humanity became victims of sin.

Even before the foundation of the earth God knew that we would fail, in fact he set us up for failure. He created us from dust to be weak and needy. Why on earth would a loving God do that? Because God knew that it was only out of our failure and despair that we would need him. It was out of this need that we would come to know the full extent of his love. God’s love says, “I want you back. I am a jealous God and I want you all to myself because I love you and I need you to love me in return.” God knew it was the only way. He had to let us go so that we could choose to come back to him and love him. God knew that we were lost and could not find our way home so he implemented his perfect, already in place plan. God would provide a perfect, sinless sacrificial lamb to atone for our sin as a means of getting us back. Because of God’s great love for humanity he gave us his one and only Son, Jesus Christ, who became that lamb.

God did all he could to fix the sin of man but still his solution still needs each individual’s personal acceptance of his remedy. You see love is not taken or forced, it is given. “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13 NIV Does God love us? Yes indeed!

Mankind has walked so far away from the garden that we have no memory of what God’s perfection really looks like. We don’t remember Eden. We have forgotten what the loving relationship between God and man really felt like. We have come to accept the good of God’s love yet we are still missing the best of his love that is reserved only for those who love him in return. I am starting to see that the only way I can return love to my precious Father in heaven is through my obedience. My obedience must be motivated only by my love.

God loves me… He loves me not… yes! …He loves me! God has two valentines for all of us today. The first valentine is his blood red heart that bleeds forgiveness and provides a covering for your sin and mine. The second valentine is his nail scared hand that carries a valentine that has written on it, “I love you and I will never leave you or forsake you. Love, God.” When I accepted his first valentine I accepted forgiveness for my personal sin. When I accept his second valentine I claim this precious promise.

These two valentines are available to all who will reach up and take them. Jesus’ valentines are intended for his bride. Believers are the bride of Jesus Christ and it is God's intention that we walk life together in a two way intimate relationship. Someday soon, Jesus will come again for his bride, his church, and we will go to live with him forever. Imagine this, God has lavished his love on us even before the foundation of the world and all he wants in return is to be loved back!

Questions:

Are you feeling unloved?

Have you been wondering if God loves you?

As a believer is your obedience motivated by your love for God?

What can you do to fall deeper in love with Jesus?

What is God asking of you this day?

If you are not sure if God loves you pray and ask God to come into your life and give you that assurance.

Prayer:

Dear Almighty God,

God you know everything. You are all powerful. God you have the ability to be everywhere all the time. God you have created all things. God I now see the one and only thing that you are in need of is fellowship with mankind that is based on our love for you. God I see more clearly now that your perfect plan was designed to lure us back and make us your bride. God, I am reminded that you call me but you do not force me. The choice of loving you is mine alone. God I am beginning to realize that if I am to get the most out of my salvation I simply must walk with you daily. God forgive me when I only take from your gracious loving hand. Father, forgive me for all of the times that I have failed to be obedient. God I want to fall deeply in love with you. I now realize that if I am to fall deeper in love with you I must spend more time with you and I must be willing to demonstrate my love to you through my obedience. God I pray that I would give you my obedience one “yes God” at a time. I want to thank you for loving me. God, I am beginning to understand that every time I choose to be obedient I am sending my valentine of love up to you. God, I thank you for your valentines of love and faithfulness to me. Father, I pray that I will strive to know you more intimately, and as a result, fall deeper in love with you.

In the name of your precious Son I pray. Amen

Graying With Grace

"…in quietness and trust is your strength.”
Isaiah 30:15b NIV

I have had sixty plus years to practice drawing near to God and trusting him with my life. This is a spiritual exercise that I will continue to practice every day as long as I live. It seems to me that I have also spent a good bit of time trying to have every area of my life perfect. I have come to understand that this deep longing within me is my heart’s effort to get back to the perfection of Eden. Back to the perfect state that God originally purposed for my life.

When the weather is nice, one of my favorite times of the day is the very early morning. I love to go out on my back porch with its peaceful view of our wooded back yard. For me this is a place of serenity and solitude. I love hearing the birds wake up and sing praises to their creator. During this time it is just Jesus and me as the light of day dawns and the day begins. It is in moments like this that God has taught me about “graying with grace” and what is necessary for getting back to the perfection of Eden. It is in this place that I meet with Jesus in the garden of my heart.

When do you feel close to God? Is it at church? Is it only in your times of need? Is it on a morning walk or run? Do you feel close to God as you marvel at his creation? Is it in the glory of the sunrise or the splendor of a magnificent sunset? Is it at the beach or under a star studded sky that boasts the breathtaking full moon? Is it through music? Do you feel close to God in simple prayer and in reading his Word? Or do you receive your strength in quietness and trust?

Oh how God loves you and me! He tenderly calls each of us to draw near to him so that he can draw near to us.

I do not mourn the days of my youth, but rather I embrace graying with God’s grace in my life. I have experienced so many more blessings than a person in their twenties because I have had a lifetime to collect them. My “senior moments” are those moments when I have the awesome privilege of sharing my faith with my grandchildren. I now have more opportunities to choose simplicity. I have the peace of knowing that the best for my life is yet to come. I have more time to share my gifts, talents, and resources with others. I have had the good fortune to experience hard times and because of those experiences I have seen first hand the faithfulness of God. I have had many years to reflect on God’s faithfulness to me and all those I love. I now take comfort when I remember that God loves those I love more than I do.

I still have dreams for a perfect life, a perfect body, perfect children, a perfect marriage, a house that never gets dirty, clothes that stay forever clean, a pantry that is never empty, having a personal chef that prepares perfect meals! Yes indeed, I am longing for the perfection that was lost in the garden! It was a perfect life, a perfect body, a perfect marriage, no house to clean, no clothes to wash, and plenty of prepared food in the pantry. Relationships were perfect and there was wonderful fellowship with the Creator. For now, that life is gone, but heaven awaits those of us who long for his appearing. So as we wait we feel the nudging of the Holy Spirit calling us to come higher in our spirit and to remain faithful in our walk.

Although I love this life and my family, I do know that with each day that goes by God brings me one day closer to my eternal home in heaven. Aging to me is not painful; it is graying with his grace. It is embracing God’s promise, “…in quietness and trust is your strength.” Isaiah 30:15b NIV As long as God gives me breath I will continue to trust him as I endeavor to quietly walk toward him amazed by his love for you and me.

Questions:

Do you fear aging?

What about aging bothers you the most?

Do you know that real beauty and strength is found within you?

Are you spending time with God now in your youth so that the older you get the more others will be able to see godly wisdom, spiritual strength and inner beauty?

If you are a senior, which of God’s benefits are you most enjoying during this season of your life?

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that as your child, I will choose every day to gray with grace. Continue to teach me your ways. Show me the characteristics that will bring real beauty to my life? Help me not to see aging as something to dread or despise, but rather a gift to be embraced. Forgive me when I get caught up in the world’s opinion that projects only youthfulness as beautiful and only strength and edurance to be of value. I know the aging process began in my life the day I was born. Thank you Father for the privilege of living and help me to never take a single day for granted. I pray I will live every day of my life in gratitude. Yes Lord, my desire is to gray with your grace. Help me to embrace all that is good that surrounds my life, and to give that which is not so good into your capable, loving, and sovereign hands.

In Your name I pray. Amen

Loving God = Obeying God = Loving God

“But if anyone obeys his word, God’s love is truly made complete in him.

1 John 2:5 NIV

“He who does not love me will not obey my teaching.”

John 14:24a NIV

Do you ever wonder why obeying God is so difficult? I have come to realize that it is because I do not love God enough to obey him. I confess, as a Christian, that thought makes me very uncomfortable. Yet still I choose to disobey.

I feel that on the “big stuff” like murder, stealing, adultery I do a pretty good job of obeying God. Yet I must ask myself if I live like that because I love God or because I have good morals? I must admit that it is the “little stuff” that bothers me. Things like always speaking kind words, judging others, being negative, responding to God in fear, gossiping, not giving all that I could, and not spending more time in the Word and in prayer. I know that God wants me to obey him regarding all those things and I’m sure many other things that I haven’t mentioned. Then why don’t I simply obey? Again, I think it is because I do not love God enough.

As a child I obeyed my parents to avoid getting into big trouble. Later I obeyed them in order to find favor with them. Their favor would prove to be beneficial to me in getting what I wanted. Finally, as I grew older I began to obey my parents simply because I loved them and didn’t want to disappoint them or dishonor them in any way. My love for my parents grew so strong that I just naturally wanted to please them. My acts of loving obedience told them in unspoken words how very much I loved them. It seemed like the formula was Love = Obeying = Love. The more I loved my parents, the easier it became to obey.

I would like to suggest that perhaps the solution for my lack of obedience to God is simple. I must fall deeper in love with Jesus! ! I must spend time with him. I must learn as much as I possibly can about how Jesus thinks, what he does, who he is, what he stands for, and who he loves. Just like in any relationship, when I discover more about the object of my affection, I fall head over heals in love with that person. Their character, their qualities, their abilities, and their love for me all contribute to my desire to love, obey, and serve them in return.

I wonder what a day of completely and perfectly loving Jesus would look like. For sure it would be a day void of selfish desires and ambitions. My day might start out by me saying, “Good morning God, here I am bright eyed, able and willing. What can I do for you this morning?” “Ask what you will God, I’m your gal!”

Instead, the scenario is more likely to be, “Thanks God for a good night of rest. Now here is a list of what I need today, what I need for my family, and what I need for my friends. God, I’d really like to spend some time with you this morning but unfortunately I have a very busy day. Please know God I wish I could, but I can’t! Oh well, not to worry, God, I know you will be pretty busy today because I, for one, have left you with a very long “to do” list.”

You see, on occasion I have been guilty of believing a very big lie of Satan that says to me, “God does not need you.” After all, if he is an “all knowing,” “all powerful,” and “all present” God, why on earth would he need you? I perceive this lie as making perfect sense because down deep inside, I really don’t think I have much to offer.

Au contraire, my friend. God does need us! However, God does not need our knowledge, our power, or for us to fill in for him in case he can’t be somewhere that he needs to be. No, God has all of that covered. But God created each of us because he needs our fellowship and our love. When we, as believers, experience a personal relationship with God he allows us to ask him for what we need, and then he tells us what he needs. It may be go, stay, wait, serve, encourage, give, or a myriad of other opportunities. We show God our love by obeying his commands and doing whatever it is that he asks of us.

Only selfish, ungrateful children would expect the relationship to be one sided. Remember we should love God not because we fear him, or need to, or want to be found in his good favor so we can receive gifts from his hand. No! We obey him because we love him.

I don’t think I ever really understood the sacrifice that my parents made for me. I doubt that my children see the sacrifices that my husband and I made for them. I also doubt that my grandchildren are conscious of the sacrifice their parents are making for them. So I imagine that I, a child of sin, do not really understand the sacrifice that God ordained for me even before I was born. God gave his one and only son to die as a sacrifice for my sin. Jesus took my place. Without Jesus’ sacrifice and his shed blood being applied to my heart I would be hopelessly separated from God for all eternity. If I was destined to remain separated from God because of my sin, I would die at the end of this life and never again receive his love, his gifts, or his provision. His protection would disappear from my life. I am reminded that God chooses to bless both believers and non believers. But some day his generosity will end for those who do not love him.

I know that I really do need to try to understand all that God has done for me so that I can love him more completely. I want my love to be pure. From time to time the test will come and Jesus will simply ask me as he did Peter, “Do you love me?” and then he will ask for my obedience as proof. Feed my sheep, give of your time and resources, take better care of yourself, and last but never least, spend more time alone with me.

I am convinced that my love fosters obedience, and obedience speaks a message of love to my Father in Heaven. Love = Obedience = Love! God knows that I am dust. I know that God does not require my perfection but he looks at my heart and he knows full well the depth of my love and that my desire is to love him. I want to love God more today than yesterday. I want to love him tomorrow more than today! I want to fall deeply in love with my Jesus! Less of me and more of Him!

Questions:

Do you have trouble obeying God?

When you obey, why do you obey?

What do you think you can do to fall deeper in love with Jesus?

Do you agree that the more you love God the more you will obey him?

Prayer:

Dear God,

I am finding that I cannot be consistently obedient to you without consistently loving you. It must be the desire of my heart to obey you simply because I don’t want to disappoint you. I want to obey you because that is what husbands and wives, children and parents, and good friends do for one another. They help each other because they love each other. You are my Father and my friend. I confess, many times I have tried to obey you apart from loving you. It simply doesn’t work. God, I thank you that you first loved me. Amazingly, you loved me enough to send your Son to the cross to die for me even before I loved you. How gracious is your love for me! God, I need to spend more and more time with you so I can fall madly in love with you. After all, that is what people who love each other do. God I don’t want to just take from your hand. I desire to give back to you in obedience because I love you. Father, you lavish your love on me. Oh, that I might love you lavishly in return.

In Your Son’s name I pray. Amen.

Fear In The Garden

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit,
while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes
so that it will be even more fruitful.”

John 15:1-2 NIV

A long time ago Adam and Eve sinned in the beautiful garden that God had given to them. As a result, when God came looking for them they hid and experienced a new emotion, fear. Genesis 3:8 It was their sin that caused that fear. After all, the Bible tells us, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,” 1 John 4:18a NIV

Satan tempted Adam and Eve with the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. I have come to realize that my life is not so different from Adam and Eve’s. I still face temptations from Satan. When I succumb to the temptation I then experience the fear of facing God with my sin. But I need not fear because Jesus is my Savior and I am safe because Jesus’ blood covers my past sin, my present sin and my future sin. Because God loves the Son, he accepts Jesus’ sacrifice for my sin as payment for my sin. He loves me for the sake of the Son. Jesus’ love for me is perfect. It will drive out any fear I may have if I put my trust in him.

So why then do I at times fear the garden? It is because I am in need of correction. I need to have sinful branches that bear no fruit cut off. I need the pruning of the gardener in my life so that my life will be able to produce even more fruit. The pruning shears of the Master Gardner scare me because I fear the pruning process will be painful even though I know the Gardener will use the shears in love.

So today I am slowly shuffling my way to the garden. As I walk toward the garden I am rebuking myself because I have fallen into some sinful behavior. If there are flowers blooming as I enter the garden I do not see them. I am wearing the hat of submission but I am also wearing the coat of dread! I feel a bit like Adam and Eve, ashamed. What I really want to do is hide. I too hear the Master walking in the garden and I know without a doubt that he will be carrying his pruning shears!

As a believer there are some things that I really hate! I hate the things people do that bring out the worst in me. I hate when I have a bad attitude and end up needing to have my attitude hacked off the vine. I hate when I have spoken inappropriate words that hurt others. I hate when I try to carry my own burdens and fix my own problems. I hate when I have embraced a spirit of fear. I hate when I argue with God and fight being obedient. I hate the process of working through my sinful behavior! But most of all I hate that as a believer I must hold myself accountable to Jesus. I hate when I allow something to happen in my life that casts a shadow on my relationship with Jesus. I hate when I realize that I am in need of a painful trip to the garden to get my sinful behavior pruned and forgiven. I know deep down in my heart that there is no other way.

I know from past experience that it is absolutely necessary for me to reach the point where I can wave the white flag of surrender and submit to the pruning shears in order to restore fellowship in the garden between myself and my Savior. Pruning is necessary so that I will walk in a loving relationship with my Lord and bare fruit that will bring him glory.

Still it is my nature to try to avoid pain, admit guilt, confess my sin, and ask for forgiveness. Much to my chagrin I usually nurse the conflict that is raging within me, consequently causing the situation to become a very long and drawn out process before I can head for the garden, meet up with the Vinedresser, and bow to his shears. I have traveled this road many times before and I know all too well where it must end! Why does it take me so long to release my anger, admit my fear, confess my sinful behavior, and seek his loving forgiveness? Why do I want anything less than the Vinedresser's approval and my inner peace?

What I love is that Jesus holds me tight and never lets me go! I love that he keeps calling me to the garden! I love his faithfulness to me even when I am unfaithful! So here I am in the garden and now I hear the Master Gardner speaking reassuring words of comfort to me. I know this pruning procedure will change my self-centered character and as a result I will become more like Jesus. I now begin to cry tears of joy knowing that I am exactly where I need to be. I know that when the Master Gardener is finished with me I will be one more step closer to looking like him. Because of God’s amazing love for me I know that my life will flourish with his grace because of this pruning. Oh! Without a doubt, pruning is not to be dreaded and despised. Pruning is to be seen as God’s love gift to me!

As I leave the garden it is my desire to be a person of godly influence. For this day the work of the Gardner is finished; my pain has turned to joy. My fear has turned to peace. That which was not good has been forgiven, cut off and tossed into the fire. I am blessed. I am at peace. The vision of all he wants me to be for his kingdom has been cast by the Master. Somehow by the grace of God I now feel cleaner and stronger, and I walk a little taller. My eyes look upward; there is a lilt in my step, a smile on my face, and praise on my lips and gratitude in my heart!

I begin the walk back toward the house and as I walk I am asking myself a few questions. Paula, why do you wait so long to seek out the Gardner? Why do you put yourself through all of that prolonged misery? Paula, the next time you feel God’s rebuke why don’t you just run to the garden and bypass the painful struggling? I remember the last thing that Jesus said to me when I was leaving the garden. He reminded me that running to him immediately, is a mark of Christian growth and maturity. Oh how I desire to be in that place!

Questions:

Have you ever feared the garden?

When was the last time God pruned your life?

What were the results of his pruning?

Are you currently in need of God’s pruning shears?

Are you making plans to run to or from the garden?

Can you see that God’s pruning is his gift of love to you?

Prayer:

Dear God,

I am getting tired of fighting you. Next time I want to go straight to surrender. After all, perfect love cast out fear. There is no need to fear the garden. Help me God to remember that all you do in my life is for my eternal good. I thank you God that you love me enough to whisper your words of conviction to my heart. I am blessed that your love wants to make something beautiful out of my life. I am so glad that you think that I am worth the effort. I am so thankful that you don’t want to allow the ugly branches of sinful behavior to grow out of control and remain in my life. I know the pruning you do in my life is your way of equipping me to serve you and others more effectively. I know that the more I love you, the less I will fear correction, and the more I will trust and obey you, and the quicker I will run to the garden. Prune me Lord, so that others will look at me and see your Son, Jesus Christ.

It is in your Son’s name I pray. Amen.