Acquaintance vs. Friend

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.”
Psalm 143:8 NIV

During my life I have had many opportunities to meet new people. Those opportunities have come when I have started a new job, and moved into a new neighborhood, and changed churches. The greatest opportunities to meet new people have come when we have relocated to a new state.

I must admit that I make intimate friends cautiously. Before I spill my guts to a new neighbor I want to be sure I can trust them. Before I invite someone to dinner I want to be sure they are not going to take home the silver. Frankly, in a close friendship I am looking for someone to share my hopes, my dreams, my fears, and my concerns. I am looking for a confidant. I have come to realize that my very best friends have also been those individuals with whom I also share my faith.

Acquaintances aren’t so bad either. There is always the chance that they will become a really good friend if given half a chance. Acquaintances are people that you can know and share casual details of life with and enjoy fellowship. In meeting people I have learned to not only look for those God has sent my way for me to help and encourage, but also to look for those has God sent to help and encourage me. I don’t want to miss knowing that special person that God has placed in my life weather they are a one time encounter, an acquaintance, or an intimate friend.

Today I am remembering that when I invited Jesus Christ to come into my life there was much I did not know about him. We really started out together as acquaintances. Yes, he had called me first and invited me to be his friend and I had accepted, but now I was faced with, where was this friendship going? I must admit that early in my acquaintance with Jesus I moved with great caution. How did I know I could trust him? Did he really care about the little details of my life? Why did he want me to obey him and why should I? What was this “serve me” business all about? Over and over again I wondered how could I believe in what I could not see and how could I trust a guy that I couldn’t see to handle my life? Satan loved to dazzle me with all of those questions!

I hardly know how or when it happened. It was gradual. It was exciting. It has become precious! Jesus moved from an acquaintance in my life to a precious friend. For me trust seemed to be the real issue. Most of the trust issues came to rest as I spent time alone with him in the garden of my heart learning about him and his love for me. If you have not experienced your Savior as a friend, I encourage you to move forward in trust.

Every morning when I wake up I am anxious to sit with my friend, Jesus Christ. I can’t wait to hear the word he has for me that day that will tell me of his unfailing love. Jesus is a friend that I can trust. He shows me the way I should go and he lifts up my soul


Questions:

Has Jesus become your friend or is he just an acquaintance?

Do you trust God with your life?

Do you trust him for your future both now and in eternity?

Do you trust him with those you love?

If you can’t trust him, why do you think that is? Is it fear? Is it control? Is it a lack of understanding as to who God really is, or is it your surface relationship with God that is affecting your trust?

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I am this day in need of your friendship. I desire to know who you are and understand your love, your power, your grace. Help me to know that you do know my name and that you are waiting for me to move closer to you. Show me how I can learn to trust you more to handle every detail of my life.

In your Son’s Name I pray. Amen.

The Blue Chair

Special Note: Today’s blog is a little longer than usual but I think that you will enjoy it because it describes how I learned to form the habit of a regular “Quite Time” with the Lord. The Blue Chair is another setting whereby I enter “The Garden of My Heart.”

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.” James 4:8 NIV

As a child, I was raised knowing that it was important to read the Bible everyday. As a teenager I thought that reading the Bible was boring, when I became a young adult I was too busy, and after becoming a mother it was impossible! Nevertheless, all of these empty excuses heaped tons of guilt onto my shoulders. As a young mother I asked, “God, how can I possibly have time to read the Bible and spend time alone with you everyday?” This was a question that repeatedly haunted me, and then it happened, the blue chair!

The blue chair was a comfortable, cozy chair. It was one of the two pieces of furniture that my husband and I purchased when we first set up housekeeping. The blue chair sat in a corner of our family room. It fit my body perfectly. I loved it! One day, I got the bright idea to make a spot in our home where I could have a “Quiet Time.” My eyes went straight to my favorite blue chair. Next to the chair I placed a small table to hold a lamp, my Bible, and still leave enough room to set my favorite morning beverage, coffee. During the winter months I added a comfy afghan to the back of the blue chair. The picture was perfect; this was my little corner of the world. At last, a place to read my Bible and pray.

I would love to say that this was a perfect plan that was flawless and worked immediately, but that’s just not the way it played out. When I first purposed in my heart to set up an area in our home for a “Quite Time” retreat, I would often fail to sit down in the blue chair. Everyday I would look at the blue chair, and I knew in my heart that the blue chair was intended to offer me a place to read my Bible and to pray. Sadly, I would often pass by the blue chair and promise myself that I would get in the chair as soon as I finished whatever important chore I was currently doing. Some days I would make it to the blue chair and other days it would seem less of a priority.

No matter what the desire of my heart was, the busyness of life had a way of pulling me away from the very thing that in my heart I really wanted to do. There were still many days that I missed my appointment with God in the blue chair. The blue chair also became a very present and annoying reminder to me that I should have been in a place where I was not!

Over the years, I became more intentional and I frequently made time for sitting in the blue chair. I actually looked forward to this personal encounter with God and I couldn’t wait to wake up, pour myself a cup of coffee, and sit in the blue chair. On the days that I absolutely couldn’t make it I began to feel cheated. When I climbed into bed at night, I regretted that I had missed a very special time that day with my Lord.

As my time in the blue chair increased, so did my need for a more organized space. I brought in a small basket and placed it on the floor next to the blue chair to hold my Bible, a journal, a pen and a devotional book. I then progressed to a larger sized basket, to hold even more study materials. Over the years the need for more space continued to grow as I accumulated even more of the same! Before I knew it, I had to move a small bookcase into the family room and sit it next to the blue chair for the exclusive purpose of holding my ever growing collection of reading and study materials.

As time passed, my appointment with God in the blue chair became a regular habit. I was finding that the time I spent alone with God was indeed sweet and enjoyable. It was also comforting, and encouraging. The blue chair became the regular place where I found peace and strength. It was a place where I could pour out my pain and frustration, a place to leave my guilt, a place to praise and worship God, and a place to say thank you to God for all of the many blessings in my life.

One of the bonuses of the blue chair was that my children expected me to be in the blue chair. When they came downstairs before leaving for school, they would often stop by and ask me to pray about their needs for that day. If I wasn’t in the blue chair, they wanted to know why not.

My children no longer live at home. I am now in yet another stage of life. In the past few years I have been known to let things in the house go undone, because I enjoy my time in the blue chair so much. What started as a twenty minute “Quiet Time,” many years ago has at times grown out of control! I now find that I would rather be having my “Quiet Time” instead doing laundry, cooking, or housework. Imagine that!

Over the years, I became acutely aware that I didn’t spend time in the blue chair because I was a person who had finally gotten it all together. No, it really was and still is quite the opposite! The truth is I need to be in the blue chair because that is where I meet with God; I have found God to be my source of strength, my teacher, and my friend. My “Quiet Time” is where I can redirect my focus to God and not my circumstances. The fact of the matter is, my blue chair will need to go to the garbage dump long before I will ever out grow my personal need to be sitting in it each and every day of my life.

At times the enemy tries to lure me away from the blue chair, and sadly to say, sometimes he does. But God is so faithful. Everyday His spirit draws me to Himself and to the blue chair. I now know deep within my soul, that it is in those few minutes of solitude each day that I am able to enter into a sweet personal relationship with my Lord. Of course, God goes with me many places through out the day, but for me it begins in the blue chair.

What God has taught me is that my “Quiet Time,” with Him is and has been an ongoing process. I had to start somewhere and for me it was the blue chair. Each season of my life has brought about many different responsibilities inside and outside of the home. I worked, then I became a stay at home mom, and then I again re-entered the work arena, and now God has provided a time of solitude that I believe is designed for my spiritual submission and refinement. I am so thankful that I followed God’s prompting in my heart many years ago, to set aside a time and a place to gradually form the habit of meeting with Him every day.

Spending time alone with God is a precious time. It is the best source of help, wisdom, love and encouragement that I am able to receive on any given day. The blue chair has been the icon that has daily drawn me to God. It is the place where God meets me where I am, He listens to me, He teaches me, and He pours into my heart His abundant and never ending love for me.

I now try to encourage others to find their own personal “blue chair,” whenever they can, wherever it may be, whatever it may look like. If you already have a special place for your “Quiet Time,” that is wonderful. In that case I would like to encourage you to “raise the bar” by beginning to spend a little more time with God each day. Explore new ways to study, spend more time reading his Word, and spend more time in prayer. Try memorizing some scripture; and learn what God has promised you in his word. You might even try your hand at journaling. One thing for sure, God will already be there in your special spot waiting for your arrival.

Questions:

Have you ever been able to form the habit of having a “Quiet Time” with God most every day?

If not, what is hindering you from having a “Quiet Time?”

Would you like to try again to form this habit?

What will you do to begin forming the habit?

If you already have a regular “Quiet Time” what will you do to “raise the bar” during your “Quiet Time?”

Prayer:

Dear Lord,

“Quiet Time” with you seems to always elude me. God, I have a simple desire to form this habit and I know that you understand all that I have to do in my life. Help me Lord to make a place and start simple. I pray that Satan will not defeat me in this effort because of my inconsistency. During times of inconsistency, I pray Lord that you will help me to simply start back right where I left off. May I not view my inconsistency as a failure. Help me to see that you are with me in this effort. I know that as I mature in my faith you will help me succeed. I know that there will always be opportunity for me to “raise the bar” a little higher in the time that I spend with you.

In Your Name I pray. Amen.

A Lick and a Promise

“Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere;”

Psalm 84:10a NIV

The older I get the more I realize how valuable “a lick and a promise” can be when it comes to housework. In past years I have tried to have every thing in my house, garage and yard perfect, only to fail every single time! I now know that “a lick and a promise” can go a long way in keeping total disaster from overcoming my residence.

I remember standing outside my house shaking my rugs while watching other people as they sat on their porches, took walks, and rode bikes. I always went back into the house wondering how in the world they had time to enjoy life.

The real point today is that life was keeping me so busy with what I considered to be necessary that it robbed me of enjoying life. That is why I now think that flying the “lick and a promise” flag is a good idea. For me cleanliness is a must but perfection is always just out of my reach because there is always too much to be done. Many times family members undo my work faster than I can do it, I’m sure you know what I mean!

My husband and I live in a home that takes quite a bit of care and maintenance. Our home is nestled on a wooded lot and we have several porches and decks. I believe that God has given us this home and grounds to enjoy and use for his glory. I have become acutely aware that if I spend every waking moment making sure that there is no evidence that the birds have been around on the decks and porches, or that every single weed is pulled, and every leaf has been perfectly blown off the decks, then most likely I will never get around enjoying the blessing of the home that God has given us. So once again, the “lick and a promise” rule applies as I tackle the most obvious projects. By doing only a little of this and that everyday I have come to free up some free time for enjoying God, my family, my friends, the solitude of my home, my porch swing and some of the hobbies that I love.

It is also very much like that with the Lord. Making time for the Lord is important even if it’s just five minutes here and there. I used to think that if I didn’t have an hour I may as well not even attempt to spend time with the Lord. While I am an advocate of forming the habit of a daily purposeful “quiet time,” guess what? I have found that the “lick and a promise” rule is of value in my spiritual life as well. “Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.” The loose translation of those words is that it is indeed better to spend five minutes here and there with the Lord than to wait until I have everything in perfect order or until I manage to snag a large block of time. If I am not careful, life will end and I will have spent thousands of days elsewhere!

Just like my house, if I never pick up misplaced items, clean a bathroom, load the dishwasher, mop a floor, or dust and vacuum, eventually my earthly house will be in such disarray and so filthy that it will take major work to get it back into some reasonable shape. So I am learning to read a verse or two while I have my coffee, or read a short blog when I set down at my computer. All through the day I whisper prayers giving God my concerns and worship one phrase at a time. In addition I love to turn on praise and worship music while I work or drive in my car. Better is five minutes in his courts than hours spent elsewhere. In this very simple way I am able to keep my focus on God and maintain the order of my spiritual house.


Questions:

What is it that you like to do that you seldom find time to do?

Are you overdoing some things in your life and does that pattern prevent you from enjoying other things that would bring you pleasure?

Do you think that the “lick and a promise” policy might free up some of your busy day?

Could re-thinking your activities open up a window of time for daily connecting with God?


Prayer:

Lord Jesus,

You were busy to the point of exhaustion every day of your ministry. Yet not only did you commune with your Father all through each day, in addition, you would rise early or get in a boat and sail away from the crowds and your work, to spend time alone with your Father. Lord Jesus, impress upon my mind what is necessary and what is not necessary in my life. Help me to simplify my life in any way that I can. Help me to not only find time for you but also for rest and relaxation. Help me to enjoy my family and my friends. God, you have blessed me with so much. Help me to stop and smell all of the beautiful roses that you have placed in the garden of my life.

In Your Name I pray. Amen.

The Orchard

"If a man remains in me and I in him,

he will bear much fruit,

apart from me you can donothing.”

John 15: 5b NIV

Today I had an amazing walk in the garden. Jesus wanted me to see that he had been planting some very special trees in my garden. He said, Paula come walk with me to the orchard. At first I was a little afraid when he mentioned the orchard because I had been doing my best to avoid all of the apple trees at all cost, if you know what I mean!

But the fact was God had some pretty special fruit trees for me to look at inside the orchard. For some reason I had never really noticed the orchard. The orchard was located deep in the garden. Most of the time Jesus and I had worked together on clearing the land, tilling the soil, removing the rocks and planting flowers and shrubs. This trip was special because Jesus was about to show me what he had been doing on his own time. He had been in the garden of my heart, all alone, planting the fruit trees!

When I got there I was totally amazed! There were wonderful fruit trees all symbolic of what God was planting in my life. The individual trees had not been planted in rows but had been purposefully planted close together so when they matured they would all grow together and form one magnificent tree. Some of the fruit trees were sill seedlings. Others had blossoms, others had a small amount of fruit and other trees had more fruit. One thing for sure, each tree was more beautiful than the next. All of the blossoms smelled fragrantly sweet and the fruit that I tasted from these fruit producing trees was delicious! The juicy, succulent fruit I was enjoying was fruit that I was not accustomed to eating.

Jesus then began to tell me the names of all the fruit trees. One tree had very sweet fruit. The name of that fruit was love. Another tree had some rather comical looking fruit named joy, and yet another tree had some graceful fruit hanging from its branches that he called peace. Still there were four more trees bearing blossoms. Those blossoms would be producing the fruit of, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness. I was very sad and disappointed to see two more pitifully small trees that just had a few buds. Those trees would eventually be bearing fruit of gentleness and self-control. I could see that those trees were going to take a very long time to produce fruit.

To my amazement Jesus told me that the fruit growing on these trees could only be produced through the power of his Holy Spirit in my life and apart from him there would be no fruit at all. During my walk in the orchard I determined to try harder to partner with the Holy Spirit so that my orchard would bear much fruit. I desperately wanted all of my trees to produce an abundance of fruit because I was told that all of the harvested fruit would last forever and would bring glory to the one who planted the trees in the orchard. Lastly, Jesus reminded me that he has commanded me to bear fruit. “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit – fruit that will last.” John 15:16 NIV

Questions:

Which of your fruit trees do you think will have the most difficulty producing fruit?

Have you tried producing the fruit of the spirit using only your effort?

Have you experienced frustrating results?

Who produces the fruit of the Spirit?

Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Lord I pray that my life will produce the fruit of your Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I pray that I will rely on the power of your Holy Spirit to produce his fruit in my life and that I will not attempt to grow the fruit in my own strength. I also pray that I will not seek the fruit or the harvest of the fruit. Help me Lord to seek only you.

In Your Name I pray. Amen.

Visit (in)courage and Read My Guest Post

On September 21st I was the guest writer at the (in)courage website. (in)courage is a part of DaySpring, the Christian subsidiary of Hallmark. This website features many regular Christian writers whose purpose in writing is to encourage others. I feel privileged and honored that the gals at (in)courage invited me to write a guest post on their website. If you would like leave a comment at the end of the post please do so. That way the gals at (in)courage will know that you visited their site and received encouragement!

My post is entitled “Graying With Grace"
You may read more by clicking on the (in)courage button bling on the right side of this page or use this link. http://www.incourage.me/ After you are on the (in)courage website click on the DAILY GUESTS tab located at the top of the page. Although my post is no longer the featured post but you may still locate it by clicking on "Previous Entries" found at the bottom of the page.

A Fragrant Offering

“Be imitators of God, therefore,

as dearly loved children and live a life of love,

just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us

as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Ephesians 5:1-2 NIV

One of my favorite flowers are Old Fashioned Lilacs. This flower has become one of my favorites, not because it is the most beautiful flower in my garden but because it is one of the most fragrant! I also love a beautiful pink and white Star Gazer Lily for the same reason. Both of these flowers are indeed beautiful but beauty alone does not make them special. It is their fragrance that endears them to me.

God loves all of his children. Some of us bring him more pleasure than others. I must ask myself, how can I bring God pleasure? I believe it is through my influence more than anything else. In Ephesians Paul tells us that we are to be imitators of God. It is important that our life reflects God character. Some of those character traits are found in the fruits of the spirit. You and I need our life to reflect love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These fragrant qualities are a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to God.

If my life is a billboard for hate and prejudice, then my influence is not love. If I am negative in all that I say and if I never smile, then my life does not reflect joy. If I am stressed to the limit and crabby because of my stress, if I am full of fear for the unknown, then my life does not reflect peace. If I am impatient with those who serve me and most importantly with my family, then my life does not reflect patience, kindness, and goodness. If my allegiance to God is in direct relationship to how well I feel I am being treated in life, then my life does not reflect faithfulness. If I am hard on others, then my life does not reflect God’s grace and gentleness. If I fly off the handle and indulge in things that are not good for me and speak every negative, sarcastic thought that pops into my head, then my life does not reflect self-control. When my selfishness is so prominent in my life that my actions and words reflect only my selfish interest, then my life is not a fragrant offering, in fact, it stinks! The only thing that I am offering up to God and others is stench instead of love. As a result, my influence is exactly opposite of God’s character. I find myself in the position of being a child of God that does not bring him pleasure. I may look good on the outside but there will be no fragrance coming from inside my life that will bring God glory.

If you are like me, sometimes you get it right and other times you fail. Thankfully, God is a God who knows how to take my failures and sin and cast them away forever. He always stands ready to help me improve and do better next time. God is not finished with any of us yet! I believe that the fragrant offering that I can offer God is the sacrifice of my selfishness. It is my desire to keep returning to my compassionate, merciful God who wants to help me in my time of need. There are many times as believers that we do get it right and God is pleasured when we do. Yet many times a day I am faced with choosing to have better behavior and attitudes. If I am to be a fragrant offering to God and others I must continue to learn to choose to respond as Jesus would.

Questions:

How did you do yesterday?

What did you get right?

Were you a fragrant offering or a stench to God and others?

Is it easier to be kind to strangers and friends than it is to your family?

Have you asked God for his forgiveness for yesterday?

Have you asked God for his help today?


Prayer:

Oh God!

I am so sick of my failures to be loving, patient, and joyful. I confess to you that my failure to respond with gentleness, kindness and goodness is at many times lacking. I am distraught that I often display my lack of faithfulness and self-control. I repent that there are many times that I am anything but gentle. Help me this day, this hour to be your sweet fragrance first of all to my husband, my children, and my friends. Help me also to be your fragrance at work, in the marketplace, on the road, and in all my dealings with those who provide services for me. Thank you God that you are not finished with me yet. God your fragrance of love for me is such a sweet perfume that I can smell it even in the midst of my failure. Thank you for that love.

In Your Name I pray. Amen.